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Always and Forever I will See Your Smile 2009

Letters From Mom

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May 7, 2009, Was sitting here thinking about you and one more year missing you calling and singing on Mother's Day. I know for me to heal I need to accept but can't seem to do that so well. I miss you so much. I know your happier than you ever have been  and for that I am thankful but the pain left behind in  my heart hurts ao very much. Little Billy tries so hard to keep me smiling and not A CRY BABY I am sure he thinks lord Dustin what a job you left me.But I LOVE and thank him so much he is the ONLY one that has stood by me and will talk to me about you we can talk for hours.,l I know you are so proud of him not just for that but trying so hard to get his life together. And Yes he gets the P.Rawls Motherly speeches as you did,. Well baby boy you khnow I will be thinking of you Sunday and sending lots of love to you as always and one thing I do know I AM YOUR only mother AND no ONE CAN TAKE THAT AWAY.  LOVE YOU SO MUCH! MOTHER
 

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April 15,2009 Just wanted to say I love you and not a day goes by I don't think about you. Seems this year is harder than last but I know you will some way get this water faucet turned off once again. I will be getting little Chloe in 2 weeks isn't she a cutie..i do hope she help alot of this crying and whatever I am going through after this surgery. So many thoughts I really can't write but I know you  and God have heard me tell you the past few months.I love you so very much! Mother

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March 27,2009, Hello My Baby Boy!I have met some new Angel Moms and they all say how handsome you are which of course I knew that already. Week has been so so. Easter is coming soon and I know you will have the biggest basket there because remember all you have to do is believe and that you did. Memories make me smile and cry.I love you so much and miss you. Love you Mother

March 17th,2009, Dustin I miss and love you so much this week I have needed to talk to you so bad wish you would send me one of those pep talks. Things seem to be going backwards instead of getting different in a good way just different in a not so good way..I am so looking forward to the day I get to see you again. I came close but I guess was not my time.. Little Billy says I have to stay here and keep him straight so if nothing else send me some ideas on how to do that.
Love you so much! Mother

March 2 ,2009, I know you know by now Little Billy took me out for my birthday on Monday. How sweet was that, He really is there for me more than you could even imagine. All I do is call .We also came out to visit you and he sang a goofy song like you would do which best part.  We both love and miss you so very much! Mother

February 17,2009 ,Well I know you know why you have not heard from me. But your mom was as strong as you thought and proved the Dr.s wrong they had told the whole family I may not make it. Guess you told them you just don't know how tough my mom was. I know it made a believer out of Little Billy. He was so afraid but felt you right there with him. Andhe knows NOT to mess with D or P Rawls or GRANNY LOL Becca came with him . Tiff of course was the decision maker and was sure praying you were there but she did an awesome job.
Any way  I am trying to get use to this 2nd new life, one thing I know is that your okay with out me for now that I do have things here to finish.  I love you Mother

Feb 21,2009  Just was thinking about you kinda not sure really how I feel today part of me which a I was with you when I came close then the other part so excited to see what God has planned and know that you are truly okay and do not need me right now and others do. I hope yopu klnow I love you o very very much. and miss you even more.
You would be proud of Tasha too she is stepping up doing what you think she would wnat her to do.. I told her all I wanted was for her to stay in touch. Should be seeing her in a few weeks.
Litle Billy andI doing good he now believes D. Rawls mama is as strong as D. Rawls LOL Maybe not physically but mentally he here alot of speeches from me and I will get him where you would want him,will just take me alot long. He misses you more than words can even say I pray that he wll learn a new life without you and please help him.as much as you can . I think Little Billy and I has been hit the hardest or maybe he and I knew the same you and BOY your mama learning even more about her baby boy LOL But of course lovea you anyway.
Tiff and the boys re doing good. You would be proud of her, I think she finally got it this yas and so very sad that was in the most difficult way anyone shouold have to grow up so quick...
 
I love you and miss you so much! Mother

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"Grief isn't a sign of weakness, nor a lack of faith---it is the price of love."

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